You can watch the episode on YouTube here.
In a recent episode, I spoke about finding my “North Star”—how do we know the direction we’re supposed to take in life? What’s our purpose? And how do we achieve it? After reflecting on this, I’ve realised that knowing your purpose is linked to knowing yourself. As I like to say, "Your purpose is you." (Yes, it’s on a T-shirt you can buy at my store, x.) But what I really mean is that, for me, purpose is about the inward journey of self-discovery. It’s not a job title or a role you fill. It’s the things we discover and express as we grow into ourselves.
Jordan Peterson speaks about following the "thread" in your life—the interests you don’t choose but feel drawn to. He explains that this thread points us toward our true calling. For me, those threads are psychology, philosophy, and spirituality. Learning about these topics feels effortless. Then, there are my creative outlets like fashion and podcasting. Podcasting is one of my favourite mediums because I get to discuss the things I’m researching alongside my personal experiences. However, I’ve realised that the podcast is what I share along the journey, not the journey itself.
When I put too much pressure on myself to grow the podcast, I forgot that it was just one expression of my path, not the destination. So, I began to ask myself: What is my path? What do I really want?
That’s when I stumbled upon an Andrew Huberman interview with Dr. Martha Beck. In her book Finding Your Own North Star, she suggests a visualisation exercise where you imagine your ideal day from start to finish. I gave it a try, wondering if my dream was to appear on the Joe Rogan Experience, run a successful fashion brand, or go on a book tour. But what came up for me was surprisingly simple: spending the day with my soulmate. It may sound cheesy, but the deepest desire of my heart was love. Given a choice between career success and true love, I’d pick love every time.
This exercise made me reflect on what I was doing to head toward this vision. While love isn’t something you can hunt down, it made me think about how I can become a better partner and put myself out there more. But I’ve also accepted that if love doesn’t come my way, I’m happy on my own. I’ve reached a place where I’d rather be alone than settle. And while finding love is part of my ideal future, I’ve realised that freedom is another key desire.
I had been telling myself that I needed to "achieve" something—like making my podcast successful—before I could live the life I wanted, like travelling again. But then I started to question that narrative. Why not skip straight to travelling? The thought of it filled me with a sense of freedom I couldn’t ignore.
In Finding Your Own North Star, Martha Beck explains that one way to know if you’re on the right path is to check in with how you feel in your body. Does a certain decision or direction make you feel constrained or oppressed? Or does it make you feel free? "Enlightenment feels like freedom," she says. Paying attention to these feelings can guide us to our true North Star.
So, I’ve decided to pursue that freedom. I’m planning my move overseas, exploring remote work, and creating multiple streams of income to support that lifestyle. I’ve loved my time in Geelong, but I know it’s not where I belong, and it’s probably not where I’ll meet my soulmate either.
The last four years have been a time of healing. I was travelling full-time before COVID hit, but coming back to Geelong allowed me to confront old traumas, understand my chronic health issues, and fully embrace my spiritual journey. I’m incredibly grateful to have had this time to heal and grow, but now I feel ready to move forward and live my life fully.
In her book, Martha Beck compares personal transformation to the stages of a caterpillar becoming a butterfly. The first stage is a "meltdown," filled with confusion and fear as your old identity falls away. This was me when I first came back home and had to face my own issues. The second stage, the "cocoon," is where you withdraw and often experience depression and lack of motivation. For me, this was my period of depression. Finally, the third stage is when the butterfly emerges. This is when you start to see your North Star and become restless to pursue it. I’m in this stage now—ready to fly as a hot butterfly, as I like to say.
This decision has been both exciting and terrifying. It means leaving behind stability—like my home, potential to buy a house, my benefits, and more. But rather than fear, I feel relief. And that’s the next topic I’ll dive into: "Surrender and Trust: In This Economy?"
Resources
Transcript
.txt file
Podcasts
Huberman Lab Podcast | How to Find Your True Purpose with Martha Beck
Books
Finding Your Own North Star by Dr. Martha Beck
Quotes
“Enlightenment feels like freedom.” - Martha Beck
"Your purpose is YOU." - mew